Motherhood busy is a different kind of busy. I mean, the list of things we do from sun up to sun down could outlast the Mississippi river. Just for kicks and giggles, I dare you to think about the things you do every day before 9:00 am. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Our lives are surely busy. Better yet – our lives are surely full.
I like thinking of life and motherhood as full. It gives me the sense that every part of me is included, accounted for, and complete. All of the to-do lists, and roles/responsibilities, and thoughts, and decisions, and feelings, and plans – little by little- add up to a full life.
I’m a working mom of two daughters. Every. single. day. my schedule is pressed down, shaken together, and running over with things to do/plan/make/pack and on and on to the break of dawn.
I’m sure you reading that has you thinking of the list I asked you about right at the beginning. And it has probably has grown times ten by now! It’s because we truly do and manage a lot.
And any time we involve ourselves in the business of doing, we involve ourselves in the business of expectations.
Sometimes these expectations come from ourselves (internal). We think things like: I need to do XYZ because if I don’t then XYZ will/won’t happen. Other times expectations from others (external) are projected onto us. “Ya know you shouldn’t ____, because _____”.
I’m 89.27% sure you’ve heard that last one before. I definitely have!
Whether the expectation is internal or external, they can be damaging if not guarded. Here’s how. When expectations are used as facts and not guidance, we hyperfocus on the end and not the journey.
Not to say that we shouldn’t aim for goals or plan for things to align a certain way. But darling, we can’t forget about the journey.
And isn’t motherhood just that? A journey. Full of our multifaceted selves trying to manage it all.
Motherhood is managing the emotional highs and lows, the sweet kisses and dirty diapers, the confidence and uncertainty, the busy days and lonely nights, and the tantrums and dance parties. I mean, this life is just so full.
But just because it’s full doesn’t mean it has to be chaotic. You get to decide how you want to mom this. Fortunately, this doesn’t include rigid expectations from you or others.
It’s loving you enough to trust what you need and Mom Fully, You.
So let’s lay down the damaging expectations of motherhood. And instead pick up our full life and decide to manage it well.
We’ll start to unpack what it looks like to live a full life in motherhood.
Until then, I think it’d be neat for you to:
- Write out all the things on your list that make your life full. The glamours, scary, mundane. EVERYthing.
- Show appreciation to yourself for doing your best at managing it all.
- Identify one expectation (internal or external) you want to adjust in order to help your journey.